Friday, December 21, 2007

Just when you thought the government couldn't get any bigger

My friend who sent this to me thought it was a clumsy parody of Senator Clinton sponsored by the vast right wing conspiracy. The idea the government is like Santa Claus, handing out presents, is taken from PJ O'Rourke's famous essay, "God is a Republican and Santa Claus is a Democrat." But truth is better than satire. From PJ O'Rourke's Parliament of Whores:

I have only one firm belief about the American political system, and that is this: God is a Republican and Santa Claus is a Democrat.

God is an elderly or, at any rate, middle aged male, a stern fellow, patriarchal rather than paternal and a great believer in rules and regulations. He holds men accountable for their actions. He has little apparent concern for the material well being of the disadvantaged. He is politically connected, socially powerful and holds the mortgage on literally everything in the world. God is difficult. God is unsentimental. It is very hard to get into God's heavenly country club.

Santa Claus is another matter. He's cute. He's nonthreatening. He's always cheerful. And he loves animals. He may know who's been naughty and who's been nice, but he never does anything about it. He gives everyone everything they want without the thought of quid pro quo. He works hard for charities, and he's famously generous to the poor. Santa Claus is preferable to God in every way but one: There is no such thing as Santa Claus.

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